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Looking for a blog rich with information on codependency, trauma, and self-esteem? Search this archive of more than 150 original posts.
Am I Codependent? Getting a Good Codependency Definition
Are you trying to find a good codependency definition? Maybe you’ve read Codependent No More or you’ve got a copy of Facing Codependence on your nightstand—highlighted and earmarked. Maybe you recognized yourself in those pages. I know I did. Whether you’re a fan of Pia Mellody or Melody Beattie, or even if you’ve never read anything by them, it’s okay. You’re beginning to put words to what you think is going on—and that’s a start. There are many different codependency signs and symptoms, and it can be confusing trying to get a clear codependency definition. So, you’re wondering: Am I codependent? What is codependency? I’d argue that a...
Read MoreCodependency Therapy in Austin: Where to Get Help
If you’re reading this article, you probably don’t need to read this one. You already know about the signs and symptoms of codependency. You may already realize you’re in a codependent relationship. Perhaps you’ve already made up your mind to seek codependency therapy. If you’re looking for codependency therapy in Austin, you’re in the right spot. I’m a therapist that specializes in codependency therapy in Austin, and I’ve been doing this work for over a decade. Even so, I’m going to spend some time talking about other ways to get help for codependency in Austin. And, I’ll give you an idea about what therapy for codependency looks like from the...
Read MoreThe separation of immigrant children from their families is unethical and illegal
I must speak up about what is happening at the US/Mexico border right now. Thousands of children have been forcibly taken from their families and detained as part of a new policy enacted by the Trump administration. I am a therapist in private practice, and I specialize in trauma recovery. Before I became a therapist, I spent a lot of time in school. Years and years. And I got to participate in a bit of research and write about what I had learned. Here are a few relevant points: Childhood trauma has a lifelong impact that shapes physical, emotional, and relational health. Sudden or prolonged separation from a caregiver is a form of childhood trauma. One of the key...
Read MoreThree reasons why it’s hard to quit people-pleasing
If you’ve been following my work for a while, you know I’ve talked before about the high costs of people-pleasing. I’ve also talked at length about what causes people-pleasing. But why is it so hard for people to quit people-pleasing? More recently, I’ve gotten several comments on my posts from people in their 50s and 60s stating that they’re relieved to have a name for what has shaped their lives for so long. And they wonder if they can make changes. I absolutely believe that people can change—in any season of life, and for any number of reasons. With proper support and education, I’ve seen clients of mine disrupt patterns and dynamics that have been...
Read MoreThe self-care* revolution: defeating self-neglect, one banana at a time
I was sitting in my car, waiting to go in for my therapy, with thank you notes in my lap. I always do this—bring work with me somewhere, for the scraps of time in between appointments. Most tasks return home undone. I perpetually overestimate how much I can do. It is a dilemma I put myself in often, and something I try to untangle most days. So I have this beautiful card in my hand. It’s a dreamy watercolor, with autumn leaves resting on the surface of a bluegreen pool. A peaceful image. I’m admiring it. And then the hunger pangs start. I’ve been awake since 6 am. It’s nearly 9, and I haven’t eaten. I’m sitting in my car, and I start...
Read MoreEnjoy the holidays!! Ten minutes to happier holidays
It’s November 1st. So, I’m bookended neatly in between Halloween and looking at the long/not-so-long stretch of holiday season that will carry me into 2017. And this year, I’m hoping to tweak things a little bit. Because I do that every year. So here is this year’s attempt to help me enjoy the holidays. You’re welcome to try this out with me if you like. My rather complicated relationship with lists As always, I’m wanting to feel prepared. I want a head start on things. Typically, I make lists of things I want/need to get done. The thing is, I often I end up feeling oppressed by these lists. I lose perspective. I don’t apply a sense of priority to the...
Read More20 signs of postpartum depression– baby blues or something more?
If you are a new parent, you might be wondering if what you’re feeling might be signs of postpartum depression or if you’re going through some of the typical emotional growing pains that new parents face. I say–“When in doubt, check it out!“ As with most things, there’s a range of how people feel and cope after having a baby. Having a child is a life altering event, and the emotional aftermath can be intense. Signs of postpartum depression are quite varied, and some are even a little surprising to some people (see #12). As you look over the list below, pay attention to how many items fit your experience. Consider, too, how intense each one...
Read MoreFinding Hope When You Feel Hopeless: Recovery from Childhood Trauma, Abuse, and Neglect
Today’s post is by Kristen Henshaw, a counseling intern working at our sister practice, Counseling South Austin. Kristen agreed to write a post for me about one of her areas of specialty: trauma. Learn more about Kristen and how to schedule a free consultation with her at the bottom of this post. I’ll return next week to write more about mental health for mamas– stay tuned! The Impact of Childhood Trauma and Abuse Children who experience relational trauma in the forms of physical abuse, sexual abuse, emotional abuse, neglect, or witnessing family violence, often grow into adults with persistent, and at times, debilitating challenges. They are...
Read MorePeople pleasing and new moms: the perfect storm
New moms and people pleasing. If you’ve been following along, I bet you can see how those two combined make for some pretty stormy weather. Even new moms with pretty sturdy boundaries can find themselves lost in those early years of mothering. (Unsupported. Depleted. Feeling like failures.) Much of what I do in work with people pleasers extends to the kind of work I’m doing with new moms, things like: + learning to say no without feeling guilty + support in setting up a regular practice of self-care + practice identifying and responding to one’s own needs, wishes, and feelings + exploring the roots of where this stuff comes from, so you can be a better...
Read MoreA New Specialty: Counseling for New Moms in Austin
In a way, my private practice is set up selfishly. Yeah, I know it seems like a contradiction in terms—I’m a therapist, and I’m passionate about helping others. And given that I’ve struggled with being a people-pleaser most of my life, other people’s needs have almost always figured front and center for me. (That’s a big part of what people-pleasing is all about—getting crowded out of your own life by the needs and feelings of others.) So how does being selfish figure in? Being a selfish therapist Being in private practice lets me choose who I work with. And because I get to choose, I often work with people whose struggles and stories somehow mirror my...
Read MoreThis is how it goes sometimes
I stood at the kitchen counter, peering down into the white paper sack that was supposed to hold my dinner. I did a mental inventory of the contents again, sure I was missing something. One package of disposable plastic dinnerware. A bundle of napkins. Two packages of saltine crackers. One large container of cream gravy. A pat of soft butter. And that was all. I checked the fridge, then the bag, then the fridge again. “Honey?” I called to my husband. “Where is my dinner?” It was 9 pm. It had been a long day. I was hungry. I was tired. The baby wasn’t sleeping well. And the restaurant folks, in their rush to put together a to-go order, had included all...
Read MoreNow Accepting FSA and HSA Plans!
Hooray! I’m finally catching up with the rest of the world. Last year, Labyrinth Healing started to accept credit cards for payment, using PayPal Here. Now you can use your HSA and FSA cards to pay for your counseling sessions as well. No more requesting paper statements to prove to your plan that you’re seeing a counselor! …Well, unless your plan doesn’t issue you a card to charge expenses, in which case I’m happy to keep offering those statements to you. Just let me know. HSA plans are a nice way to budget for therapy—you pull money from your paycheck before taxes get pulled and can pay for therapy with those pre-tax funds. Some companies...
Read MoreTame Your Tech: One simple tip for mindful computer use
My computer and I have something of an unhealthy relationship, I realize. Since my at-home office space has been commandeered by other family members, I find myself sitting at the dining room table a lot. My computer hangs out there, a simple, constant reminder of work to be done. Last night I lured by its bright glow from across the room. I ended up sitting in the kitchen googling nothing in particular and found myself on the wrong side of my bedtime with nothing to show for it. If this were a one time thing, I wouldn’t be writing about it. But it’s habitual. And it’s a problem. While I’m not big into resolutions this year, this is one relationship I am...
Read More“Are You Pregnant or Are You Just Getting Fat?”: Five Steps to Body Image Acceptance During Pregnancy
I’m dabbling in different types of collaboration this year– and that includes welcoming some new voices to the blog! Today’s guest post comes from Kate Daigle, a therapist specializing in eating disorder recovery in Denver. Kate offers a refreshingly honest & open perspective in her writing. Lately we’ve been commiserating about some of the unique complexities of pregnancy, motherhood, and being a therapist in private practice. In this post, Kate offers some valuable and compassionate perspectives on body image and pregnancy. You can see my guest post for her blog here. Finding out you are pregnant can be one of the most exciting...
Read MoreThank You, 2015!
I’m sitting on a heap of thank you’s this year. Again. I was looking at this letter I wrote three years ago, and I realized that I’m way overdue in writing a proper thank you note. So, here goes. 2015 has been a rich, ripe year for me. In 2015, I had time to deeply immerse myself in my practice. I had the chance to sit with thoughtful, courageous people willing to do the work that will make their lives better and better. I say it every year, because it’s true: I am lucky to do what I do, and I thank my clients for their trust in me and their commitment to themselves and our time together. In 2015, I had the precious opportunity to have time away from...
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