Self-esteem
Am I Codependent? Getting a Good Codependency Definition
Are you trying to find a good codependency definition? Maybe you’ve read Codependent No More or you’ve got a copy of Facing Codependence on your nightstand—highlighted and earmarked. Maybe you recognized yourself in those pages. I know I did. Whether you’re a fan of Pia Mellody or Melody Beattie, or even if you’ve never read anything by them, it’s okay. You’re beginning to put words to what you think is going on—and that’s a start. There are many different codependency signs and symptoms, and it can be confusing trying to get a clear codependency definition. So, you’re wondering: Am I codependent? What is codependency? I’d argue that a...
Read MoreCodependency Therapy in Austin: Where to Get Help
If you’re reading this article, you probably don’t need to read this one. You already know about the signs and symptoms of codependency. You may already realize you’re in a codependent relationship. Perhaps you’ve already made up your mind to seek codependency therapy. If you’re looking for codependency therapy in Austin, you’re in the right spot. I’m a therapist that specializes in codependency therapy in Austin, and I’ve been doing this work for over a decade. Even so, I’m going to spend some time talking about other ways to get help for codependency in Austin. And, I’ll give you an idea about what therapy for codependency looks like from the...
Read MoreThree reasons why it’s hard to quit people-pleasing
If you’ve been following my work for a while, you know I’ve talked before about the high costs of people-pleasing. I’ve also talked at length about what causes people-pleasing. But why is it so hard for people to quit people-pleasing? More recently, I’ve gotten several comments on my posts from people in their 50s and 60s stating that they’re relieved to have a name for what has shaped their lives for so long. And they wonder if they can make changes. I absolutely believe that people can change—in any season of life, and for any number of reasons. With proper support and education, I’ve seen clients of mine disrupt patterns and dynamics that have been...
Read MoreThe self-care* revolution: defeating self-neglect, one banana at a time
I was sitting in my car, waiting to go in for my therapy, with thank you notes in my lap. I always do this—bring work with me somewhere, for the scraps of time in between appointments. Most tasks return home undone. I perpetually overestimate how much I can do. It is a dilemma I put myself in often, and something I try to untangle most days. So I have this beautiful card in my hand. It’s a dreamy watercolor, with autumn leaves resting on the surface of a bluegreen pool. A peaceful image. I’m admiring it. And then the hunger pangs start. I’ve been awake since 6 am. It’s nearly 9, and I haven’t eaten. I’m sitting in my car, and I start...
Read MoreFinding Hope When You Feel Hopeless: Recovery from Childhood Trauma, Abuse, and Neglect
Today’s post is by Kristen Henshaw, a counseling intern working at our sister practice, Counseling South Austin. Kristen agreed to write a post for me about one of her areas of specialty: trauma. Learn more about Kristen and how to schedule a free consultation with her at the bottom of this post. I’ll return next week to write more about mental health for mamas– stay tuned! The Impact of Childhood Trauma and Abuse Children who experience relational trauma in the forms of physical abuse, sexual abuse, emotional abuse, neglect, or witnessing family violence, often grow into adults with persistent, and at times, debilitating challenges. They are...
Read MorePeople pleasing and new moms: the perfect storm
New moms and people pleasing. If you’ve been following along, I bet you can see how those two combined make for some pretty stormy weather. Even new moms with pretty sturdy boundaries can find themselves lost in those early years of mothering. (Unsupported. Depleted. Feeling like failures.) Much of what I do in work with people pleasers extends to the kind of work I’m doing with new moms, things like: + learning to say no without feeling guilty + support in setting up a regular practice of self-care + practice identifying and responding to one’s own needs, wishes, and feelings + exploring the roots of where this stuff comes from, so you can be a better...
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