Tame Your Tech: One simple tip for mindful computer use

My computer and I have something of an unhealthy relationship, I realize.

Since my at-home office space has been commandeered by other family members, I find myself sitting at the dining room table a lot.

My computer hangs out there, a simple, constant reminder of work to be done.

Last night I lured by its bright glow from across the room.

I ended up sitting in the kitchen googling nothing in particular and found myself on the wrong side of my bedtime with nothing to show for it.

If this were a one time thing, I wouldn’t be writing about it.

But it’s habitual.  And it’s a problem.

While I’m not big into resolutions this year, this is one relationship I am looking to improve.  Maybe you are, too?  If so, read on.

The quiet lure of inboxes (& blog posts & Facebook)

I justified my compulsive use of the computer for a long time.

At first I figured I could chalk it up to my work ethic.

When I’m not in session, I’m on the computer a lot.

I’m typing these blog posts.

I’m seeking out books to read to stay sharp in my work as a therapist and supervisor.

I’m also watching a lot of cute cat videos on YouTube, or playing one of my favorite tower defense games.  (Yes, I’m a geek.)

And let’s be honest.  I do a lot more of the last two than the first two.

The damaging effect of being perpetually plugged in

More and more, people are talking about how tech use can cause disconnection.  (Look here to see a neat photo project depicting this.)

As a therapist, you would think I know about patterns of reinforcement and conditioning work on the brain.

You’d think that I’d know the subtle ding! of an incoming email would send my novelty-seeking brain gunning for the next new thing, even if it just turns out to be a crap email.

And I do know.  I know how ding! email!! gives my brain a hit of dopamine or some other feel-good chemical, rewarding me for staying eternally plugged into my inbox.

I know how compulsive patterns of tech use can build and build over time, shifting me left into the perpetually reasoning, reading, logical realm of the brain.

I know how this sort of use starves my spontaneity, my openness, my creativity, my presence and relatedness, to be gobbling up data, page after page after page.

(If you’re curious to learn more about left and right mode processes of the brain and the happiness found in the marriage and integration of these parts, look into Dan Siegel or Bonnie Badenoch’s work.  It’s amazing stuff!)

I also know the cost of keeping 12 browser tabs open, the impact of mental scatter, the things lost with the fragmentation of my attention.

I see at the airport and coffee shops how people cluster around power outlets like they’re gold mines, how people make return trips for phones left behind because they’re too anxious to be without them, even for a few hours.

I see how social media leaves people feeling lacking, their FOMO (fear of missing out) in full effect.

This cannot stand. 

Why I want to change

My thoughtful attention, my presence, is how I make my living.  It is also where I derive most of my satisfaction in life—through relationship and connection with my family members, and with my own self.

And I’ve gotten lazy.  I’ll google anything at the drop of a hat, rather than thinking it through.

I’ll impulsively read scores of articles that show up in my Facebook feed and neglect the carefully chosen books gathering dust on my nightstand.

I’ll end up going down research rabbit holes, reading up on therapy, on parenting, on the best way to organize a closet.

In the end, I have a head full of (often-conflicting) facts and nothing gets done.

I clearly know the ill effects of too much tech.  You do, too.  Any bad relationship will have its cost, in the end.   So I’m going to try something different.

I’m going to take an extra step and try a new habit, for one week.  It’s a very simple change to make (or so I say, having not yet tried it.)

You’re welcome to try too, if you like.

One simple tip for mindful computer use

When I’m done using the computer, I will turn it off.  No more leaving it sitting idle, open and ready for me to engage at a moment’s notice.

I suspect this change in habit will do a couple of things.

1.)  It will force me to pause and reflect about my computer use. 

Often, a brief pause is all that’s needed to keep us from a tumble down into mindless gratification and path-of-least-resistance territory.

Keeping my computer off unless I am actively using it will achieve this.  That pause gives me time to ask myself:

Am I checking my email just to check it?

Do I really need to go look at Facebook right now? 

Is this really how I want to spend my time?

And so on.

2.)  I’ll be slower to respond to emails and other correspondence.  

(And this is a good thing, in the end.)  It will hopefully reduce the sense of urgency I feel about responding to things that don’t actually need a response within the hour.

I give myself about a day to return calls on my phone.  Why don’t I offer myself the same amount of time to respond to emails?

I’ll admit, even typing that out makes me nervous.  Leaving emails to sit that long?  Why would I do that?

3.)  I’ll probably opt to do other things that bring me more joy or are, at a minimum, more productive than endless browsing and scrolling.

And while I’m trying not to worship too much at the altar of busy, I’ll settle for being productive over mindless internet browsing and email checking any day.

I’m curious to see how much extra time I’ll have if my computer no longer becomes the default.

You know, my phone and I probably need to have a sit down, too.  But let’s go one step at a time. I’ll try this for a week and see how it goes.

Did you like this post?

Read more ideas about improving your internet hygiene– your five worst online habits, and 3 good tips for staying sane on the internet.