Trauma
Insecure attachment makes so much sense.
It’s easy to understand how insecure attachment gets a bad rap. There’s loads of research studies talking about the early negative and often lifelong impact of these relational styles. It impacts our social relationships, academic performance, rates of mental illness, and, to add salt to the wound, success rates in therapy. (Let’s appreciate the unfortunate irony of that last one for a moment.) So I’m not surprised that when you type ‘insecure attachment’ into google, the most commonly seen autocomplete threads say something like ‘do I have it’ and then ‘treatment’ … I get it. It’s a long list of consequences to something that gets...
Read MoreA common, hidden cause of depression and anxiety and burn out that 75% of us are doing: living left-shifted.
When we’re feeling miserable, it’s natural to go looking for a series of signs and symptoms. We want to explain things and get strategies to hoist us out of our pain. Most articles out there are going to explain symptoms of a toxic relationship, or the impact of your genetics and family history on your proneness to depression, or burn out, or stress. And that’s all very important context. But today, I want to write about a not-much-talked about source of some of our misery. Our brains… and more specifically, the way that our left hemisphere processes information. Now, before your eyes glaze over and you go off to read something more interesting, give me 30...
Read MoreWhat causes people pleasing?
Hi, y’all– here’s my next installment in video series I’m putting together on mental health. In today’s video, I tackle the topic “What causes people pleasing?” — take a look! If you’d like to stay in touch for future videos, you can subscribe to my Youtube channel here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC-GGFzmtZvR9j1noAp1AbaA What causes people pleasing? Transcript: I’m Ann Stoneson, I’m a therapist in private practice in Austin, Texas. Today, I want to talk a little bit about the origin of people-pleasing. Most people when you ask them “Do you know what a people pleaser is?”— they can give you a pretty clear answer. ...
Read More10 Survival Tips for Survivors of Sexual Trauma When News Coverage is Triggering
I wish I could say I was surprised by this latest news cycle and the backlash that followed. But, when you’re a trauma therapist, you become a repository for some of the deepest secrets and pain humankind can offer. You don’t get to have the luxury of denial. And you get to see fierce, quiet displays of courage in your clients every week as they heal. It is sacred work I feel lucky to do each and every day. But, the point of this article isn’t to talk about the privileges and hazards of my profession. I’m writing this for all the survivors of sexual trauma out there. I know there are a lot of us. You’ve probably already seen plenty of posts about how to...
Read MoreAm I Codependent? Getting a Good Codependency Definition
Are you trying to find a good codependency definition? Maybe you’ve read Codependent No More or you’ve got a copy of Facing Codependence on your nightstand—highlighted and earmarked. Maybe you recognized yourself in those pages. I know I did. Whether you’re a fan of Pia Mellody or Melody Beattie, or even if you’ve never read anything by them, it’s okay. You’re beginning to put words to what you think is going on—and that’s a start. There are many different codependency signs and symptoms, and it can be confusing trying to get a clear codependency definition. So, you’re wondering: Am I codependent? What is codependency? I’d argue that a...
Read MoreCodependency Therapy in Austin: Where to Get Help
If you’re reading this article, you probably don’t need to read this one. You already know about the signs and symptoms of codependency. You may already realize you’re in a codependent relationship. Perhaps you’ve already made up your mind to seek codependency therapy. If you’re looking for codependency therapy in Austin, you’re in the right spot. I’m a therapist that specializes in codependency therapy in Austin, and I’ve been doing this work for over a decade. Even so, I’m going to spend some time talking about other ways to get help for codependency in Austin. And, I’ll give you an idea about what therapy for codependency looks like from the...
Read MoreThe separation of immigrant children from their families is unethical and illegal
I must speak up about what is happening at the US/Mexico border right now. Thousands of children have been forcibly taken from their families and detained as part of a new policy enacted by the Trump administration. I am a therapist in private practice, and I specialize in trauma recovery. Before I became a therapist, I spent a lot of time in school. Years and years. And I got to participate in a bit of research and write about what I had learned. Here are a few relevant points: Childhood trauma has a lifelong impact that shapes physical, emotional, and relational health. Sudden or prolonged separation from a caregiver is a form of childhood trauma. One of the key...
Read MoreThree reasons why it’s hard to quit people-pleasing
If you’ve been following my work for a while, you know I’ve talked before about the high costs of people-pleasing. I’ve also talked at length about what causes people-pleasing. But why is it so hard for people to quit people-pleasing? More recently, I’ve gotten several comments on my posts from people in their 50s and 60s stating that they’re relieved to have a name for what has shaped their lives for so long. And they wonder if they can make changes. I absolutely believe that people can change—in any season of life, and for any number of reasons. With proper support and education, I’ve seen clients of mine disrupt patterns and dynamics that have been...
Read MoreThe self-care* revolution: defeating self-neglect, one banana at a time
I was sitting in my car, waiting to go in for my therapy, with thank you notes in my lap. I always do this—bring work with me somewhere, for the scraps of time in between appointments. Most tasks return home undone. I perpetually overestimate how much I can do. It is a dilemma I put myself in often, and something I try to untangle most days. So I have this beautiful card in my hand. It’s a dreamy watercolor, with autumn leaves resting on the surface of a bluegreen pool. A peaceful image. I’m admiring it. And then the hunger pangs start. I’ve been awake since 6 am. It’s nearly 9, and I haven’t eaten. I’m sitting in my car, and I start...
Read More20 signs of postpartum depression– baby blues or something more?
If you are a new parent, you might be wondering if what you’re feeling might be signs of postpartum depression or if you’re going through some of the typical emotional growing pains that new parents face. I say–“When in doubt, check it out!“ As with most things, there’s a range of how people feel and cope after having a baby. Having a child is a life altering event, and the emotional aftermath can be intense. Signs of postpartum depression are quite varied, and some are even a little surprising to some people (see #12). As you look over the list below, pay attention to how many items fit your experience. Consider, too, how intense each one...
Read MoreFinding Hope When You Feel Hopeless: Recovery from Childhood Trauma, Abuse, and Neglect
Today’s post is by Kristen Henshaw, a counseling intern working at our sister practice, Counseling South Austin. Kristen agreed to write a post for me about one of her areas of specialty: trauma. Learn more about Kristen and how to schedule a free consultation with her at the bottom of this post. I’ll return next week to write more about mental health for mamas– stay tuned! The Impact of Childhood Trauma and Abuse Children who experience relational trauma in the forms of physical abuse, sexual abuse, emotional abuse, neglect, or witnessing family violence, often grow into adults with persistent, and at times, debilitating challenges. They are...
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