Motherhood
Insecure attachment makes so much sense.
It’s easy to understand how insecure attachment gets a bad rap. There’s loads of research studies talking about the early negative and often lifelong impact of these relational styles. It impacts our social relationships, academic performance, rates of mental illness, and, to add salt to the wound, success rates in therapy. (Let’s appreciate the unfortunate irony of that last one for a moment.) So I’m not surprised that when you type ‘insecure attachment’ into google, the most commonly seen autocomplete threads say something like ‘do I have it’ and then ‘treatment’ … I get it. It’s a long list of consequences to something that gets...
Read More20 signs of postpartum depression– baby blues or something more?
If you are a new parent, you might be wondering if what you’re feeling might be signs of postpartum depression or if you’re going through some of the typical emotional growing pains that new parents face. I say–“When in doubt, check it out!“ As with most things, there’s a range of how people feel and cope after having a baby. Having a child is a life altering event, and the emotional aftermath can be intense. Signs of postpartum depression are quite varied, and some are even a little surprising to some people (see #12). As you look over the list below, pay attention to how many items fit your experience. Consider, too, how intense each one...
Read MorePeople pleasing and new moms: the perfect storm
New moms and people pleasing. If you’ve been following along, I bet you can see how those two combined make for some pretty stormy weather. Even new moms with pretty sturdy boundaries can find themselves lost in those early years of mothering. (Unsupported. Depleted. Feeling like failures.) Much of what I do in work with people pleasers extends to the kind of work I’m doing with new moms, things like: + learning to say no without feeling guilty + support in setting up a regular practice of self-care + practice identifying and responding to one’s own needs, wishes, and feelings + exploring the roots of where this stuff comes from, so you can be a better...
Read MoreA New Specialty: Counseling for New Moms in Austin
In a way, my private practice is set up selfishly. Yeah, I know it seems like a contradiction in terms—I’m a therapist, and I’m passionate about helping others. And given that I’ve struggled with being a people-pleaser most of my life, other people’s needs have almost always figured front and center for me. (That’s a big part of what people-pleasing is all about—getting crowded out of your own life by the needs and feelings of others.) So how does being selfish figure in? Being a selfish therapist Being in private practice lets me choose who I work with. And because I get to choose, I often work with people whose struggles and stories somehow mirror my...
Read MoreThis is how it goes sometimes
I stood at the kitchen counter, peering down into the white paper sack that was supposed to hold my dinner. I did a mental inventory of the contents again, sure I was missing something. One package of disposable plastic dinnerware. A bundle of napkins. Two packages of saltine crackers. One large container of cream gravy. A pat of soft butter. And that was all. I checked the fridge, then the bag, then the fridge again. “Honey?” I called to my husband. “Where is my dinner?” It was 9 pm. It had been a long day. I was hungry. I was tired. The baby wasn’t sleeping well. And the restaurant folks, in their rush to put together a to-go order, had included all...
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