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The brimming year
2015 has been quite year. It’s been such a big one for me that I had to take a hiatus from the blog for a long, long while. And it’s because I’ve been brimming. Most people think of “brimming with gratitude” when they hear the word brimming. And I’m happy to say that I’ve had moments like those, yes. But I’ve also been brimming with other things. Brimming with sadness, brimming with fear. Brimming with anger, brimming with jealousy. Brimming with joy, brimming with love. I’ve been brimming with all sorts of feelings this past year. And what about you? What’s been brimming in your heart this year? Will you be partaking of more of the same in...
Read MoreHello, hello!
Hi, you guys! It’s been a while, huh? My last post was written in September of 2014, more than a year ago. I know I left things without a bunch of preamble. Here’s what was going on, in a nutshell. Last fall, I took the time away from my blog because I was newly pregnant and utterly exhausted. I needed that extra time and energy to focus on myself. And, well, then there was my maternity leave over the summer, and dealing with all the upheaval and shenanigans with having a young baby in the house. Those shenanigans are still going on, mind you. But I have two moments to stitch together this morning (madness!) and I’ve got this notion in my head that I could write...
Read MoreThe end
I write this sitting in my meditation spot at home. There a stick of incense lit, resting in a little wooden holder, a few feet away from me. It’s quiet in the room, and dim. A perfect spot for thinking. I’m watching the plumes of smokes as they rise from the stick of incense. A fan is on, and so the smoke rises and falls, billowing and withering as it goes. I feel like the stick of incense and the urgent ribbon of smoke that’s rising from it. Alive, consuming, and a bit chaotic. That’s why I’m planning to stop writing this blog. The end of the blog I realize that I need to stop writing in this blog. I can put together a list of easily describable reasons for...
Read MorePut your energy toward worthy things
Each of us is a tiny inkwell, full of ink. And every day, we have a chance to write something. It might be a phrase, a love letter, a dirty limerick… Some days, it might be a scrawled expletive, underlined twice, a question, an indecipherable inkblot. We wake up each morning with a certain amount of energy. A certain amount of ink. Some days, we have more. Some days, less. And every day, we write our story. We spend & share our energies in different tasks, among different people. I’m wanting to conserve my energies today, so I’m keeping things short & sweet: Do you like what you’re writing? If not, it’s okay. You can change the quill, the...
Read MoreThe fear of missing out (aka FOMO)
As a kid, I was fond of choose your own adventure books. Remember those? The ones with the jumbled chronology, that had you flipping back and forth between pages? They had all those choice points, about one per page— do you climb up into the tree to get a better vantage point, (turn to page 13) or do you get out your lantern and follow the path into the dark forest? (turn to page 27) I was delighted at the prospect of shaping the story with my choices. Such power! And yet, I kept my fingers laced between the pages at all the choice points I could, wanting to see all the endings, even the bad ones. Any time I hit a dead end in the story, I just thumbed back and...
Read MoreThe accidental carjacking
You know when you have one of those embarrassing but instructive moments in life, one where you think, “When I can tell people about this, it will be helpful and instructive, but at the moment I’m just feeling a bit embarrassed, and this is going to be buried for a bit.” I have one I’m ready to share. This happened a couple of weeks ago. It’s pretty tiny, but I think it’s quite useful. Maybe you agree—we’ll see. My simple screw-up I had a long day at work. (Isn’t that how so many stories begin?) Long day at work, and I was heading toward my car in a hurry, probably thinking about my appointments from the day. Maybe I was rushed. Maybe I was tired. I...
Read MoreSuicide: what you should know
Robin Williams’s suicide was a shock. As you absorbed the news, you may have wondered: how could someone so tremendously talented, funny, and successful want to die? Unfortunately, depression doesn’t deal in any reasonable sort of currency. It doesn’t look at the friends and family you have, the money you’ve made, or your accomplishments and achievements. It pulls a black cowl over your head for weeks or months or years at a time. And it dismantles the things that used to bring you joy. Signs of depression Sometimes, terrible things happen in our lives, and feeling grief-stricken or depressed about things makes sense. But sometimes these feelings arrive without...
Read MoreThe no you’ve been avoiding
It’s there. Blink, and you’d miss it. Just at the corner of your eye, barely in view. Yes, there. There it is. It’s the ‘no’ you’ve been avoiding. Hello there, no-you’ve-been-avoiding. Let’s have a chat, you and I. I think you’ve got something important to tell us. The ‘no’ you’ve been avoiding Sometimes you’re on the fence. You don’t know what you want. You don’t know what to do next. This is not one of those times. This particular ‘no’—the no you’ve been avoiding—this no knows (say that five times fast) what it’s about. It’s quite clear. No, I don’t want to go to that party. No, I don’t want to work late at the...
Read MoreGather up your scatter
Today’s post rests squarely on some of my own stuff. I’m doing a little heart housekeeping. So, it’s a bit of a selfish post. (You’ve been warned.) Even so, I know I’m not the only person who deals with feeling unfocused and scattered from time to time. And lately I’ve been driven to distraction by a couple of things. So today I’ve put together a couple of gentle tips to help us gain some focus & clarity. It’s time for us to gather up the scatter, to take our minds by four corners and gently fold inward. Just for the moment. Or, barring that, maybe we can just bring some humor and compassion to the task, as we watch our minds jump, like...
Read MoreLiving from integrity
Last week, I promised a post about living from a place of integrity. But what does that even mean? It basically comes down to this: Living with integrity means making choices you can stand by proudly. It’s when your choices, behaviors & values are aligned. 3 signs that you’re living a life of integrity Living with integrity doesn’t mean living perfectly. Or always doing the “right thing.” (As if “the right thing” for any given situation was always spelled out clearly on the nearest wall and underlined twice.) Life is complex and nuanced. So, there may be times when you may choose to make exceptions. There will be things that don’t go as planned. Or...
Read MoreMy secret second life
It has to be a short post today, you guys. I have a couple of irons in the fire that need tending to this week. And one of the irons has to do with my secret, second professional life. In addition to launching my sliding scale clinic, Counseling South Austin, I’m doing a big talk this week and I need every spare moment I’ve got to prepare for that. The talk is about helping therapists grow their practices with integrity. Y’know, instead of using marketing techniques that feel sales-y or gross. (Yuck.) Especially if it’s gross marketing coming from a therapist— double yuck. That’s another aspect of my business, in addition to working with...
Read MoreCounseling South Austin arrives!
Big news at Labyrinth Healing this month! After much plotting and planning, I am pleased to announce the opening of our sister practice, Counseling South Austin an affordable, sliding scale counseling practice. If you or someone you know is looking for compassionate, friendly counseling on a budget, please keep us in mind as a resource! Therapy doesn’t have to be a luxury service. If you’re looking for support, we’d like to help! I personally supervise each of the counseling interns that work at Counseling South Austin. I have added a second staff therapist to the practice and plan to add two more by early fall. Counseling South Austin (the nitty...
Read MoreThe 3 step cure for being too busy
Two weeks ago, you wondered if you were too busy. So, we looked at certain myths and lies tied to the notion of “being busy.” How busy is a subjective attitude, not a defined state of being. How busy, for many, has come to imply importance and value. (Which makes it hard to quit.) How busy is a title that is earned for work—certain kinds of work—that reflect cultural values. Also, I told you: if you feel too busy, you are. But how do we take control of our schedules, if we feel this way? How do we cure our chronically busy lives? How not to be a victim of your own schedule For those of you who talk about being busy like it is something that happened to you when...
Read MoreHardship. And the strength of broken things.
I know I promised you a conclusion to last week’s post about busyness, but the summer solstice inspired me to write about a different topic this week. The post on taming your schedule is already written and will be ready for you next week as promised. Summer solstice was this past weekend. And the longest day of the year has me thinking. Strangely, it has me thinking about the long, cold nights of winter. It has me thinking about hardship. In the heat of a Texas summer, it may be hard to recall the coldness of winter. But it will be there, like clockwork, waiting for us in just a few short months. Making sense of hardship How do we make sense of hardship? Sometimes...
Read MoreAre you too busy?
I’m on a myth-debunking kick this month, you guys. Last week, I attacked the lie that mind-reading is love. (It isn’t.) This week, the lie is about being too busy. And that being too busy somehow became a measure of your own importance. (It isn’t.) And also the notion that your busyness is out of your control. (It isn’t.) If you’re happy with your schedule and the things in it— if you feel like you’re getting enough done— this article isn’t for you. If, on the other hand, you feel – imprisoned by your own to-do list or oppressed by your own calendar, and you’re wondering “How did I end up so overscheduled?” or lamenting “There’s nothing I...
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