Self-care
A common, hidden cause of depression and anxiety and burn out that 75% of us are doing: living left-shifted.
When we’re feeling miserable, it’s natural to go looking for a series of signs and symptoms. We want to explain things and get strategies to hoist us out of our pain. Most articles out there are going to explain symptoms of a toxic relationship, or the impact of your genetics and family history on your proneness to depression, or burn out, or stress. And that’s all very important context. But today, I want to write about a not-much-talked about source of some of our misery. Our brains… and more specifically, the way that our left hemisphere processes information. Now, before your eyes glaze over and you go off to read something more interesting, give me 30...
Read MoreHow do I find a therapist near me?
Are you looking for therapy in Austin? Yes? In that case, the answer to your question is fairly simple. Pick up a stone, throw it in any direction. Chances are good it may hit a therapist. Why? (Unnecessary sidebar: please don’t actually throw stones at people.) Well, Austin is a pretty great place to live, honestly. Not that I’m biased or anything, of course. But seriously—last I checked, there were more therapists per capita here than in many other major metropolitan cities in Texas. And the Austin therapeutic community is incredibly diverse. For trauma recovery, we have EMDRIA – that’s the EMDR International Association—based in Austin. EMDR...
Read More10 Survival Tips for Survivors of Sexual Trauma When News Coverage is Triggering
I wish I could say I was surprised by this latest news cycle and the backlash that followed. But, when you’re a trauma therapist, you become a repository for some of the deepest secrets and pain humankind can offer. You don’t get to have the luxury of denial. And you get to see fierce, quiet displays of courage in your clients every week as they heal. It is sacred work I feel lucky to do each and every day. But, the point of this article isn’t to talk about the privileges and hazards of my profession. I’m writing this for all the survivors of sexual trauma out there. I know there are a lot of us. You’ve probably already seen plenty of posts about how to...
Read MoreThe self-care* revolution: defeating self-neglect, one banana at a time
I was sitting in my car, waiting to go in for my therapy, with thank you notes in my lap. I always do this—bring work with me somewhere, for the scraps of time in between appointments. Most tasks return home undone. I perpetually overestimate how much I can do. It is a dilemma I put myself in often, and something I try to untangle most days. So I have this beautiful card in my hand. It’s a dreamy watercolor, with autumn leaves resting on the surface of a bluegreen pool. A peaceful image. I’m admiring it. And then the hunger pangs start. I’ve been awake since 6 am. It’s nearly 9, and I haven’t eaten. I’m sitting in my car, and I start...
Read MoreEnjoy the holidays!! Ten minutes to happier holidays
It’s November 1st. So, I’m bookended neatly in between Halloween and looking at the long/not-so-long stretch of holiday season that will carry me into 2017. And this year, I’m hoping to tweak things a little bit. Because I do that every year. So here is this year’s attempt to help me enjoy the holidays. You’re welcome to try this out with me if you like. My rather complicated relationship with lists As always, I’m wanting to feel prepared. I want a head start on things. Typically, I make lists of things I want/need to get done. The thing is, I often I end up feeling oppressed by these lists. I lose perspective. I don’t apply a sense of priority to the...
Read MoreFinding Hope When You Feel Hopeless: Recovery from Childhood Trauma, Abuse, and Neglect
Today’s post is by Kristen Henshaw, a counseling intern working at our sister practice, Counseling South Austin. Kristen agreed to write a post for me about one of her areas of specialty: trauma. Learn more about Kristen and how to schedule a free consultation with her at the bottom of this post. I’ll return next week to write more about mental health for mamas– stay tuned! The Impact of Childhood Trauma and Abuse Children who experience relational trauma in the forms of physical abuse, sexual abuse, emotional abuse, neglect, or witnessing family violence, often grow into adults with persistent, and at times, debilitating challenges. They are...
Read MorePeople pleasing and new moms: the perfect storm
New moms and people pleasing. If you’ve been following along, I bet you can see how those two combined make for some pretty stormy weather. Even new moms with pretty sturdy boundaries can find themselves lost in those early years of mothering. (Unsupported. Depleted. Feeling like failures.) Much of what I do in work with people pleasers extends to the kind of work I’m doing with new moms, things like: + learning to say no without feeling guilty + support in setting up a regular practice of self-care + practice identifying and responding to one’s own needs, wishes, and feelings + exploring the roots of where this stuff comes from, so you can be a better...
Read MoreThis is how it goes sometimes
I stood at the kitchen counter, peering down into the white paper sack that was supposed to hold my dinner. I did a mental inventory of the contents again, sure I was missing something. One package of disposable plastic dinnerware. A bundle of napkins. Two packages of saltine crackers. One large container of cream gravy. A pat of soft butter. And that was all. I checked the fridge, then the bag, then the fridge again. “Honey?” I called to my husband. “Where is my dinner?” It was 9 pm. It had been a long day. I was hungry. I was tired. The baby wasn’t sleeping well. And the restaurant folks, in their rush to put together a to-go order, had included all...
Read MoreNow Accepting FSA and HSA Plans!
Hooray! I’m finally catching up with the rest of the world. Last year, Labyrinth Healing started to accept credit cards for payment, using PayPal Here. Now you can use your HSA and FSA cards to pay for your counseling sessions as well. No more requesting paper statements to prove to your plan that you’re seeing a counselor! …Well, unless your plan doesn’t issue you a card to charge expenses, in which case I’m happy to keep offering those statements to you. Just let me know. HSA plans are a nice way to budget for therapy—you pull money from your paycheck before taxes get pulled and can pay for therapy with those pre-tax funds. Some companies...
Read MoreTame Your Tech: One simple tip for mindful computer use
My computer and I have something of an unhealthy relationship, I realize. Since my at-home office space has been commandeered by other family members, I find myself sitting at the dining room table a lot. My computer hangs out there, a simple, constant reminder of work to be done. Last night I lured by its bright glow from across the room. I ended up sitting in the kitchen googling nothing in particular and found myself on the wrong side of my bedtime with nothing to show for it. If this were a one time thing, I wouldn’t be writing about it. But it’s habitual. And it’s a problem. While I’m not big into resolutions this year, this is one relationship I am...
Read MoreThe end
I write this sitting in my meditation spot at home. There a stick of incense lit, resting in a little wooden holder, a few feet away from me. It’s quiet in the room, and dim. A perfect spot for thinking. I’m watching the plumes of smokes as they rise from the stick of incense. A fan is on, and so the smoke rises and falls, billowing and withering as it goes. I feel like the stick of incense and the urgent ribbon of smoke that’s rising from it. Alive, consuming, and a bit chaotic. That’s why I’m planning to stop writing this blog. The end of the blog I realize that I need to stop writing in this blog. I can put together a list of easily describable reasons for...
Read MorePut your energy toward worthy things
Each of us is a tiny inkwell, full of ink. And every day, we have a chance to write something. It might be a phrase, a love letter, a dirty limerick… Some days, it might be a scrawled expletive, underlined twice, a question, an indecipherable inkblot. We wake up each morning with a certain amount of energy. A certain amount of ink. Some days, we have more. Some days, less. And every day, we write our story. We spend & share our energies in different tasks, among different people. I’m wanting to conserve my energies today, so I’m keeping things short & sweet: Do you like what you’re writing? If not, it’s okay. You can change the quill, the...
Read MoreThe people pleaser holiday survival guide
When you think of all the gifts and food and cards and visits and parties crowding your to-do list in December… or, on the flip side, when you think of the stress of watching everyone go about their very interesting and holiday-ed magical lives on Facebook while you sit at home in sweatpants and feel less-than… …well, you can see how easy it is to feel lonely and/or overwhelmed this time of year. Add in a big dose of people-pleasing into the mix, and you’ve got a recipe for disaster! Let’s avoid the disaster this year. Okay? Let’s do it differently this time. Introducing your very own people pleaser holiday survival guide! Just remember: ...
Read MoreLove your lunch, love yourself: midday mental health rituals
Today, I make a case for the hour-long lunch. I know, I know. It may seem a far-fetched idea. Bear with me. Midday mental health rituals are not just for the self-employed and otherwise privileged. At work, many of us are pressured to eat at our desks in front of our computers. Others of us eat on the run in the car between errands. If you can manage to get away from the office and go for lunch with colleagues, you may find yourself taking your meal with a heaping helping of work talk. In our worst moments, we may skip a mealtime altogether in a haphazard effort at efficiency and then struggle to apply our starved brains and bodies to an afternoon full of...
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