Robin Williams’s suicide was a shock.

As you absorbed the news, you may have wondered:

how could someone so tremendously talented,

funny, and successful want to die?

Unfortunately, depression doesn’t deal in any reasonable sort of currency.

It doesn’t look at the friends and family you have,

the money you’ve made,

or your accomplishments and achievements.

It pulls a black cowl over your head for weeks or months or years at a time.

And it dismantles the things that used to bring you joy.

Signs of depression

Sometimes, terrible things happen in our lives, and feeling grief-stricken or depressed about things makes sense.

But sometimes these feelings arrive without notice or warning, for no reason we can see.

Or they hang around far too long, refusing to ease.

It looks something like this:

Things that used to bring you joy feel empty.

You feel sad most days, most of the time, for a couple of weeks—with no sign of it lifting.

And sometimes things spiral deeper, into a tireless slog of despair, of hopelessness.

You find you’re eating poorly, sleeping poorly. You struggle with fatigue.

You’re having trouble concentrating. Making simple choices feels like a chore.

You feel guilty or hopeless or worthless.

You might even think of suicide.

One of the trickiest things about depression is how subtle it can be. But gradually, by degrees, it can progress into a full blown depressive episode.

You can feel like you’re at the bottom of a deep well with no real recollection about how you got there.

Suicide: what you should know

Many people who attempt suicide have talked about their intentions.

Or they have shown other warning signs.

Asking someone if they are having thoughts of suicide will not “give them ideas.” Talking openly about these thoughts with someone can pave the way for getting them some help.

Suicide transcends race, gender, and class lines, but some groups are more vulnerable than others.

Suicide among men is four times higher than among women, accounting for 79% of all suicides in the United States. Middle aged men are at highest risk of suicide. (Learn more here.)

Whether you think it’s a threat, a plea for help, or a grab for attention—when someone says they are thinking of suicide, take it seriously. If someone feels they must resort to threats of suicide, whatever the reason, something is wrong.

Depression is common—on average, 8% of the US population (age 12 and older) is depressed at any given time.

Also, that’s non-institutionalized people, meaning if you factored in people in treatment at psychiatric hospitals and other residential treatment facilities, that percentage would be even higher.

About 100 people die from suicide every day in the US. A diagnosis of depression makes risk of suicide much higher than the risk for those without that diagnosis.

These statistics are all pulled from the most recent data supplied by the CDC, from 2012.

Look behind the curtain

A man who spent his whole life making others laugh could not find joy in his own heart.  

Haunted by mental illness and addiction for much of his life, he could not see another way out.

This may all sound grim, but there are things you can do to help.

Look for the little man behind the curtain.

Don’t be distracted by the glamour and the humor and the having-it-all among people you know.

People use cleverness to hide their pain in plain sight.

So, look behind the curtain. Really look.

You might be surprised to learn how many people close to you have had thoughts like these at one time or another.

Make a point to educate yourself on mental health resources in your community, and share these liberally with others.

Be open to conversations about this kind of pain. Remove some of the shame and stigma that surrounds depression and suicide.

Be mindful and thoughtful about your mental health and wellbeing, and the wellbeing of those around you.

We must look after each other.

If you are struggling with suicidal thoughts or if you’re worried about someone else, you can call the suicide prevention hotline at 800-273-8255 from anywhere in the US.

If you’re in Austin, you can call the county crisis hotline at 512-472-4357.

Take good care, everyone—

Ann

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Last year:  False yeses– the quiet thief

Two years ago:  Forgive yourself

Three years ago:  Quit trying to manage me!!– 6 things to know about therapy & managed care