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Looking for a blog rich with information on codependency, trauma, and self-esteem? Search this archive of more than 150 original posts.
Does your life need a trim?
I had a tender moment with a houseplant yesterday. That’s not completely honest. It is actually an office plant. More specifically, it’s a plant I have kept in my private practice for the past two years. This plant got me thinking about stuff. Let me tell you how it all happened. Plant wisdom You know how they say that talking to plants help them grow? I don’t know if that’s true or not, but it’s a nice sentiment. And if it is true, this plant was full of words. It sat in my office and absorbed every story my clients ever shared. When I first brought this plant to my office, it was bushy and full. But over time, it started sending out long, leafy...
Read MoreAn experiment in desperation
I’m showing up empty-handed today. The deadline is looming large. I’m sitting down to write this post 49 minutes before it is due. Today I’m flying by the seat of my pants. I have no idea what I’m going to say, and no time to edit it if it turns out terribly. If you’re along for the ride, welcome. You and your forks This is the second time it has happened. It’s the second month in a row that people have visited my site looking for blog content even more than they end up on the main page. I’m not very web savvy, so I tell myself a story that makes sense to me: I lay out this very nice Welcome mat in front of my site. I add pictures and writing and try...
Read MoreLove yourself first
Valentine’s Day reminders are everywhere. My local HEB has a full aisle festooned with red and pink crepe paper, stuffed with sweet snacks and chocolates. There are bouquets bursting from black plastic buckets at the florist. Technicolor, heart-shaped cookie cakes in the bakery. And there are enough crimson helium balloons to spirit away a small continent. But this holiday has a whole lot of baggage. Single people are often made to feel they’re lacking for not having a partner. Partnered people are made to feel they’re lacking if they don’t bring home the cake (and balloons, and flowers, and chocolates, and possibly also dinner reservations.) Yes, there’s a lot...
Read More7 signs you give too much (aka, don’t be a stump)
Self-sacrifice. Often, women are taught it is the same as love. Self-sacrifice is interpreted as a sign of love and kindness. Of will power. Of good moral character. It suggests a deep capacity for empathy. But as with all the good stuff, there can be too much of a good thing. The line between generous giving and martyrdom is thinner than you might think. I think of Shel Silverstein’s book The Giving Tree as an example of giving gone awry. If you’re unfamiliar with the story, it’s about a tree who offers a little boy support and love through all the season of his life. The tree offers shade, fruit, and finally, her trunk, to meet the boy’s demands. Each...
Read MoreCoping with stress
I took a long, hard look at some things this weekend. Specifically raisins, peanut butter, and some legumes. I’m sad to say none of them passed muster, and they ended up in the trash. On Sunday, I spent about an hour sorting through my pantry. It was about as exciting as it sounds– discarding expired food, wiping down the shelves, and trying to put things in some sort of order. I found all manner of interesting things—ingredients for dishes I’d never had the courage to try, “good intention” food that was never eaten, and a few duplicates of things I’d forgotten I had. It was an odd sort of treasure hunt, reclaiming things I wanted and trashing the...
Read MoreThe work detox
The drive home. You can’t remember what you thought about, or what you listened to on the radio. You think maybe it had to do with work. You come in the front door. Your partner greets you, starts talking about their day. You realize they just asked you a question and you haven’t heard a thing they’ve said. You were thinking about something you forgot to do today. You’re brushing your teeth. Your mind meanders to a troubling conversation with a coworker. Or you’re mentally running through tomorrow’s to-do list. Sound familiar? Maybe so. After all, the mind loves to wander. But some of us have an especially hard time turning our minds off...
Read MoreA new kind of New Year’s resolution
Everyone’s resolving things right now. “I’ll lose weight.” “I’ll spend more time with family.” “I’ll learn a new language.” “I’ll quit smoking.” Resolutions can be great. Setting an intention is a powerful practice! But what if we turned the whole New Year’s resolutions thing on its ear a bit? Reverse resolutions A new year is not just a time for new beginnings. It is also a time to continue on a path, to recommit to things that you’ve done well in the past year. So, how about looking back at the past year and giving yourself credit for the things you did well? What about continuing...
Read MoreFinding a beautiful therapy office in Austin
Ok, so the title gave away my big news. Labyrinth Healing will be relocating to a larger space in 2013. The office is moving from Westlake to south Austin. I am very excited about this transition! There’s much to do to prepare the space, and this got me thinking about therapy offices in general. You know—the important stuff. In searching for new space, I had a number of criteria that I needed to meet. Here’s what I came up with: Quiet and convenient location. It’s good to have an office that’s convenient to get to, but also has a bit of a “tucked away” feeling to it. A heavily trafficked office can feel disruptive and work against getting into the...
Read MorePracticing what I preach
Today’s a day to practice what I preach. It is the first day of a new year, and I am busy with big plans. I could use a day to celebrate and relax and tie up a few loose ends. So that’s what I’m doing today– taking a break, shoring up some exciting new plans, and preparing for a shiny new year. But you should stay tuned– next week I’ll fill you in on what I’ve been up to! Of course, if you’re already signed up for my newsletter, you’ll be in the know a bit sooner than that. PS: Maybe you’re due for a bit of a break yourself? Check in and see. The holidays can be an exciting and busy time, but our own...
Read MoreHappy Holidays from Labyrinth Healing
I must admit, I’m shocked. It’s quite possible we’ve never even spoken personally. Still, somehow you knew just what to get me this year. The best gift of 2012 Maybe you don’t remember what you got me. It may not have seemed like much to you at the time. Let me tell you how you’ve helped: More business. In 2012, you offered me many, many referrals as former and current clients, colleagues, and folks online looking for help. Just last week, I received three inquiries in one day. Thanks to you, my practice continues to grow and thrive. I get to focus on doing what I do best: providing therapy and counseling services to folks in Austin from all walks...
Read MoreA letter for you
I don’t know the particulars of your life. What you’re struggling with. What you worry about. Still, I’m going to write you a letter anyway. Why? Well, I know we’ve all been handed a lot to hold these past few days. The shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary school has wounded everyone who knows about it. In the midst of all this hardship, it warms my heart to see so much information that’s being shared about how to cope with trauma. There’s much talk about how to support children, our youngest and most vulnerable citizens, through this hardship. There’s talk about advocacy and support and policy. There’s talk of grief, confusion and loss. But...
Read MoreAre you queen (or king) of the mental replay?
Does your mind wander to unhappy places? Are you queen of the mental replay? Hi! This one’s for you. Which conversations do you replay in your mind? When you wake up in the middle of the night, where does your mind go? Who’s your most popular mental sparring partner? Most of us have mental sparring partners that we return to again and again in our minds. These are the people we argue or fight with in our minds when we’re stuck in traffic. Or when we are waiting in line to order our morning coffee. We take these sparring partners all over the place. We go into the past to replay old conflicts, imagine new and frustrating scenes, and conjecture about...
Read MoreCreative ways to make therapy affordable
Last week, I promised you some ideas about how to make therapy more affordable. So, here are some options you may want to explore. Good luck! Different settings 1.) Community mental health clinics. Pros: These clinic often receive state and federal funding, so they can offer therapy services for free or at very low cost. Typically, fees are based on your income level. Some clinics can be a one stop shop, so if you are looking for therapy and medication, you may be able to see a therapist and a psychiatrist in the same location. Cons: You typically don’t get to choose the therapist you see—you will be assigned to someone. Depending on demand, you...
Read MoreIs therapy worth it?
Most of us don’t have a lot of wiggle room in our budget. So, fitting in a new expense like counseling can be a real challenge. My aim is to give you a basic idea about what therapy costs and why it’s worth paying good money for it. So, if you’re wondering… Is therapy worth it? What does therapy cost? How can I afford therapy? …then, keep reading! You’re in the right spot. Making a case for therapy Why therapy? Simply put: therapy helps you have a happier, more satisfying life. Research shows that therapy helps people overcome depression and anxiety. It helps you have better relationships—with yourself and with other people. It can help you through...
Read MoreLessons from the sick bed
Ugh. I’m sorry to say the bug beat me. Bad. But, I’m planning a comeback. I’m writing you from bed today, sick with a bad case of strep throat. I had to cancel all my appointments. I’m really bummed about that. I know my clients wouldn’t appreciate me gifting them their very own case of strep throat. Nonetheless, I hate missing out on our meetings. I suppose that’s a good sign—I enjoy my work. But I’d gladly trade this reminder of how much I love my work for just getting to go and do it, like any other Monday. To me, getting sick always feels a bit like a good-hearted smack from Mother Nature. I take it as a sign to slow down and take better...
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