Valentine’s Day reminders are everywhere.

My local HEB has a full aisle festooned with red and pink crepe paper, stuffed with sweet snacks and chocolates.

There are bouquets bursting from black plastic buckets at the florist.

Technicolor, heart-shaped cookie cakes in the bakery.

And there are enough crimson helium balloons to spirit away a small continent.

But this holiday has a whole lot of baggage.

Single people are often made to feel they’re lacking for not having a partner.

Partnered people are made to feel they’re lacking if they don’t bring home the cake (and balloons, and flowers, and chocolates, and possibly also dinner reservations.)

Yes, there’s a lot of baggage with this holiday.

I’m not a Valentine’s Grinch or anything.  I think it can be a lovely holiday.  But I think it got tasked with a big job—one that we should honor every day of the year.

And it doesn’t have to do with balloons or cake.

It doesn’t even have to do with other people.

It has to do with you.  Just you.

You’re invited

So, if you’re reading this, you’re invited.

To a year-long party.

It’s a little bit like Fight Club, but different—because you can talk about it, and there’s no hitting.

Ok, scratch that.

It’s really nothing like Fight Club.

Here’s the thing.

It’s nice to receive nice things and sweet reminders on Valentine’s Day.

But who says you have to wait a year for it?

And who says it has to come from someone else?

I propose you take charge of your own heart and do something nice for yourself on Valentine’s Day.

It may not cancel out the wish for someone special in your life, if you feel that is lacking.  It’s not meant to.

It comes down to this:  no one can take as good care of you as you do.

And this isn’t some kind of militant be super independent and never rely on anyone speech.

Reliance and interdependence are signs of strength.

Vulnerability is deeply powerful.

So it’s fine to lean into others, to long for connection.  That’s okay, and that kind of ache can be painful.

But take good care of yourself.

And take good care of yourself.

And take good care of yourself.

And do it again.

Because you’re worth taking care of.

And here’s the real clincher:  don’t just do this on Valentine’s Day.

Do something nice for yourself every day.

We have another name for that around here—self care.

Self-care is a competitive sport

Self-care is a competitive sport.

It is.

Why?

Because you, your body, and your mind—wars against almost everyone else in your life.

Let me explain.

People need stuff from you.

Bosses have deadlines.

Children get the flu.

Spouses have bad days.

Pets need vets.

And friends need your ear.  Homes need to be cleaned.  Laundry needs doing.  And on and on it goes.

It may feel like an unsolvable puzzle.  Too many people and tasks needing your time.  It’s too much to do.

But do it anyway.  Put yourself first.

Take care of yourself.

Be subversive.  Get sneaky.  Self care becomes stealth care.

Snag snacks or naps.

Escape from the kids.

Lotion on your feet and socks before bed.

Surprise pudding on a Wednesday afternoon.

Love notes to you from you.

Look, I’m not going to be picky here about what it looks like.  Just do it.  And then do it again.  And again.

Happy Valentine’s Day.