We live in a bootstrap society.  We are constantly consuming messages about how we improve ourselves, do more with less.

You may be familiar with the adage “Pull yourself up by your bootstraps.”  It’s a saying that dovetails nicely with our make do/can do culture.

There’s a firm practicality in that principle, a sort of ironclad forging ahead.  I can see the merit in it.  Sometimes you need to rally in spite of having flagging spirits.  Sometimes you just have to push ahead, no matter what.  Work hard, and you’ll be rewarded.  Self-sufficiency is key.

This saying has a shadow side, though.  It suggests that it is better not to ask for help, that hardship should be faced alone.

What gets us into trouble

If you live by this principle day in and day out and never take off those boots, you will likely have problems.

Normal troubles can become compounded tremendously when they’re encapsulated by a make do/can do attitude.  This is especially true of high demand tasks or chronic sources of stress.

If you combine a bootstrap mentality with certain life stressors, you may be signing up for years of isolation or self-sufficiency where interdependence and teamwork may be more effective.

Can you imagine parenting in isolation, without help?  What about if you’re prone to perfectionism, or you have a hard time setting limits with others?  If your expectations tend to run high, a can do/make do attitude will run you into the ground.

Without proper perspective, you may see your fatigue or limitations as hurdles to be overcome rather than signs of a system gone haywire.  Warning signs or red flags may be interpreted as weakness or need for personal improvement rather than a sign to back off or slow down.

And, avid bootstrappers don’t like to be told to slow down.  Oftentimes, this culminates in a physical or emotional breakdown.

Too much bootstrapping

So, what does too much bootstrapping look like?  Here are some signs and symptoms of stress gone wild in your body and mind.

Body

-Teeth grinding or clenching

-Migraines/headaches

-Acid reflux and other tummy troubles

-Frequent illnesses or infections

-Trouble sleeping

Mind

-Difficulty concentrating

-Forgetfulness

-Panic attacks and worrying

-Catastrophizing

-Reduced productivity and efficiency

Heart

-Bleak or hopeless feelings

-Impatience

-Feeling overwhelmed

-Increased edginess and irritability

-Social withdrawal and isolation

Still not sold on the virtues of slowing down or asking for help?  Here are fifty more reasons to lower your stress levels.

Bouncing back

A therapist once told me, “Health is flexibility.”  When I think of flexibility, I think of resilience, or the “bounce back” factor.  This refers to your ability to handle change as it emerges—to be adaptable and open, rather than rigid or unyielding.  It also covers being able to switch between feeling states and roles, rather than being stuck in the same mode.

There’s a lot of interesting research that looks into what resilience is all about, and why some people seem to have more of it than others.  I suspect that being flexible fits in there somewhere.

Just so we’re clear:  bootstrapping isn’t a bad thing.  It’s just, like most things, bad in perpetuity.  The key, as always, is in finding balance about when to buckle down and push through, and when to take a break and ask for help.