Seven qualities to take with you into your therapy

There are some key provisions you should take with you on your therapy journey.  I’m not talking about stockpiling extra tissues for a tough session or bringing a cup of tea from the waiting room to the couch, though you’re welcome to do that, of course!  I’m talking about recruiting certain values and qualities of character that you may not even remember you have.  These traits can help you make the most of therapy and get the relief and results you’re seeking.

As I’ve talked about in previous posts, the importance of fit between client and therapist cannot be overstated.  Your therapist is one of your best resources for the journey.

But, this article isn’t about picking a good therapist for you.  This is about tapping into your own strengths to help therapy progress.

Over time, I’ve come up with a short, descriptive list of qualities I see in common with clients who are well-prepared for the therapy journey.  Even having one or two of the qualities on this list is a great advantage for someone thinking about trying therapy.

This person is someone who…

• is resilient—in spite of tragedy and challenges; curious and hopeful about the possibility of making positive meaning out of painful hardship, even if that possibility may feel remote
• is curious—about themselves, the world, and new possibilities
• values relationships—both out in the world and in the therapy room; understands that much of therapeutic healing happens as a result of having an authentic relationship with another human being
• values therapy— either through having done therapeutic work previously or by having experienced healing or transformation in the context of other meaningful life relationships
• is collaborative—in doing the work of therapy; brings ideas and impressions into the room and is receptive to alternative perspectives; wants to tell her story but is open to developing new meanings, narratives, and endings that honor her health and wholeness
• is motivated—to take ownership of her own treatment, thinks about the therapy hour outside of the hour itself, and understands the 90/10 rule (90% of the work of therapy happens out in the world, between sessions, as a result of her efforts)
• is courageous—anyone who meets half of the above qualities obviously has courage in spades; therapy can be hard work!

If you’re looking at this list and feeling overwhelmed, don’t worry.  These are aspirational guidelines for all of us.  Furthermore, if you’ve chosen to use your free time reading an article on preparing for therapy, I think it is safe to say that you are curious, motivated, and value therapy.

Have I left something off of this list?