How to find the best therapist in Austin

Maybe you came in because someone else recommended that you meet her.  Or, perhaps you found him online first and wanted to see how it would go in person.

Sound like the makings of a blind date?  Actually, it looks a lot like how therapy starts for most people.

However it happened, you’re now sitting on the edge of a couch that wants to engulf you and trying to figure out in a 20 minute visit if you want to pour your heart out to this particular stranger.

The fact is, the initial visit with a potential therapist can be a pretty anxious moment for a lot of us.  We worry about being judged.  We don’t know if we can be helped (but we’re hopeful).  We feel full of old hurts and bad mojo and we don’t want to be upended all over the proverbial floor so someone can sift through our stuff and make pronouncements and interpretations.

Fair enough.  But, if you want to see a therapist, you will probably need to perch on the edge of a few couches before you find a comfortable one.  And for most people, the worst thing that happens in a consultation is that they feel a bit awkward, or like the person sitting across from them isn’t getting it.  Not great, but not the end of the world, either.

If you’re going to invest all that time, money, and energy into therapy, you should really choose your therapist with care.  Many people who come into therapy are in such a state of distress that they just want to land across from someone that can hear them— so they go with the first person that calls back.  And that’s an ok way to do it.  But, if your situation permits and you’re willing to do a few meet-and-greets, there are really some great benefits to taking your time with the decision-making process.  That’s because you have a lot of wisdom about what you need, even if you don’t think you do.  And a little time invested now can mean the difference between a good therapy and a really great therapy.

Here’s an example of that wisdom of yours.  Did you know that a person with a nutritional deficiency will sometimes develop cravings for a specific food that would satisfy the body’s needs?

Well, I think there’s a similar process that can happen when we try to match with a therapist.  We often draw with powerful gravity to a person who seems to have an abundance of the thing that we need to learn.  I realize that not everyone is comfortable getting hands-on with their intuitive selves—and that’s ok, too.  The fact is there are many effective ways to find a therapist who makes a good fit.  Let’s talk about some of them.

If you’re not sure what to look for in a therapist, consider the following red flags:

Do they frequently interrupt you or seem more interested in talking rather than listening?

Are they noisily eating something as you tell them your life story?

Do they laugh at what you feel are inappropriate times?

Are they dozing off by the end of the consultation?

Ok, yes, these are extreme examples.  But, I have heard or read about each of these things happening.  While these egregious faux pas are passed around like lore among the therapeutic community, I’m repeating them here for a specific reason.  Therapists are different— they have varied strengths and weaknesses.  If you end up across from a therapist who is burned out or doesn’t know how to address your particular problem, you’re probably not going to get what you want out of therapy.  (Worst case scenario, the treatment could make things worse rather than better.)  So, how do we avoid the sleepy therapist and get the one that’s right for us?

Let’s talk particulars.

At the start of your search, I encourage you to develop a list of potential therapists with whom you might work.  Most therapists have profiles on one or more therapist directories online, such as Psychology Today or Good Therapy.  You can start to get a sense of a therapist’s personality and style from their profile listings.  Pay attention to how they write about themselves.

You might also get recommendations from a trusted friend or your doctor, if you feel comfortable asking.  Once you’ve developed a “short list” of therapists who interest you, you should touch base.  You should ask them if they offer complimentary consultations on the phone or in person.  Most therapists are more than happy to do this, as the “fit” question is an important one for them, too!

So, let’s get back to the issue of fit.  How does one measure something like this during an actual consultation?

1.)    Does the therapist seem to “get you” during the consultation?

2.)    Is the therapist able to answer your questions in an understandable way?

3.)    What sort of vibe are you getting from the therapist?  Do they seem calm or ill-at-ease?

4.)    Do you feel safe?

5.)    Has your therapist worked with other people struggling with concerns similar to yours?

6.)    Check in with yourself at the end of the interview.  Did you feel heard and accepted?  Do you feel relieved or hopeful?

There are dozens of questions that I could add to the list.  The fact is this process of matching is a deeply personal one.  Some people will enter therapy with a list of specifications—they may only want to work with a therapist of a certain gender or faith.  They may want to work with someone who is trained in a very particular style of therapy.  Other people may care less for the therapist’s credentials and are more interested in knowing that their therapist is made up of “good stuff” that they can learn from and borrow during the therapy.  (By good stuff, I mean personality traits or qualities in the therapist’s character that can used during therapy to benefit you—like compassion, a ready laugh and a good sense of humor, or keen intelligence.)  Both approaches are fine.

The bottom line: don’t be afraid to “shop around” when looking for a therapist.  If you are prepared to leave a few waiting rooms empty-handed, you will find the best therapist for you.