When I tell people that I specialize in women’s wellness, they wonder what that means.

Therapy looks different for women than it does for men.  In fact, therapy looks different for each and every person I see.

But let’s get back to women’s wellness.  What does that mean?

Many women struggle with similar stuff.  Part of my job is simply to be aware about these things.  Here are two examples of things that I help women with in my private practice in Austin.

Self-care, invisible work, and burnout

Most women I know are caregivers.

They are caring for a spouse, for children, or for aging parents.  They may be “unofficial” caregivers in the workplace or among friends by tending carefully to relationships and other people’s needs.

Caregiving can be tremendously rewarding work… if it is work that is chosen.  Some women get signed up for this kind of work without even realizing it through social expectations or pressure from important relationships.

What does this caregiving look like?  At home, it can look like packed lunches, thank you notes, and having annual physicals scheduled at the doctor’s office.

It’s a full pantry.

It’s hugs on demand.

It’s quiet space for other people’s needs and feelings.

It’s making changes to satisfy the needs of a relationship.

I don’t mean to suggest that men don’t share these responsibilities in a partnership.  Many do!

But most women have been raised to see these jobs as their responsibility. And in our culture, most of this work is invisible.

Most women I see just want to know how to not be so stressed, so they can cope better.  They don’t know how to share caregiving responsibilities, or that they can pick and choose when & how to care for others.

And, many women don’t take care of themselves half as well as they take care of others.  So a lot of them end up burned out.

Self-image & self-worth

Our culture is obsessed with women’s bodies.

Women are routinely evaluated on the basis of their weight, their appearance, and their clothes.  This is part of the reason why eating disorders are so prevalent in our culture.

Women also learn that their worth is partly based on the success of their relationships.  If they are in an unhappy relationship, they see it as their job to rehabilitate the relationship, to make it work.

So, they read self-help books.  They go to therapy.  They talk at length about things with their friends.  They spend hours thinking about how to make things better, and they grieve and worry when their relationships are struggling.

Many women need help letting go of or softening some of these external standards.  They need help accepting themselves as-is.  And they often need help locating their worth internally, rather than around things they do for other people.

Many women over-function in relationships and at work—going above and beyond to try and compensate for things that are lacking.  You may know this as the supermom syndrome.  It’s true not just for mothers, but for many women at all stages in life.

Women have been learning these lessons about self-worth and body image for a lifetime; it takes time and effort to undo.

Both sides of the coin

The interesting thing about women’s wellness is that some of these concerns translate for men.  And men have unique struggles and life challenges that are tied to social pressures and expectations, as well.

I am always trying to keep these pressures and expectations in mind.  By striving to understand both sides, I can serve all of my clients better.

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Today, I only had time to talk about a couple of challenges that women face—and I didn’t get into the pressures and challenges that men face much at all!

What did I miss?  What kinds of stress and social pressure have you faced in your life?