I’m going to suggest something pretty unpopular today.  In fact, I’m pretty sure it is going to go against most of the counsel you’ve heard from other bloggers, columnists, therapists, and parents.  I hope you’ll stick with me for the next five hundred words and give it a fair shake.  I think it will help us all out, in the end.

Most of us have gotten the advice that we need to go above and beyond in order to get ahead in life.  This gets us into big trouble.

For some reason, people often badmouth ordinary, run-of-the-mill efforts.  Somehow, “good” got commandeered as another word for “bad.”

“Well, what’s wrong with bringing your best to all your efforts, Ann?  Shouldn’t that be a good thing?”

Not necessarily.  In fact, you could be setting yourself up for failure in the long run if this is the approach you routinely take.

The problem with above and beyond

It is perfectly fine to turn up your efforts on important tasks.  Sometimes we need to bring a little extra to the table.

But, taking the above and beyond notion as an enduring mindset, I think, will land you with a bad case of burnout over time.

Why?

Well, there are a few reasons for this:

You have finite resources—you have a limited amount of time, money and energy.  Treating these resources as infinite and worthy of expending on every little task will disperse your most powerful resources on unworthy tasks.  Wouldn’t it be better to pick and choose how to spend those valuable resources?

You set up unreasonable expectations—if people come to expect that they can have your best any old time, you end up setting a new “bar” for yourself.  But, what if you can’t raise the bar any higher?  Suddenly your best is ordinary and everyone wants to know why you can’t do more.

You will hold the burden of competence—if you bring your best to every endeavor, other people will often defer to your amazing skills.  Sometimes your best will call forth the best from others.  But sometimes it will engender the opposite:  a kind of paralysis or underfunctioning.  It’s the notion that “she does it so much better, so I won’t bother trying/learning to do it myself.”

So, what does this all look like, in the end?

1.) We end up with schedules bursting at the seams.

2.) We lose touch with the beauty of unscheduled time and idleness.

3.) We teach people to expect extraordinary efforts from us at all times.

4.) We do not offer important people in our life a chance to shine, too.

The beauty of “good enough”

To do well and be well, we must be comfortable with good enough.  We don’t have to aim for great or stellar or unparalleled all the time.

Good enough is perfectly acceptable.  And, this concept is conveniently portable.  You can apply it to any number of oversized, unattainable myths and standards that tempt us in life: being the smartest, the most accomplished, the prettiest, the wealthiest, the best.

Good is great.  It is plenty.

Splurge with your best on the things that matter most to you.  Give the rest a steady, good effort, and then leave it alone.

Try a little ordinary on for size

Think of something this week that you need to do that you don’t like.  Pick something low stakes.  Promise yourself that you’ll give it a good try.  You might even spell out what that means in terms of time or effort spent.

Then, apply the extra time/effort/money that you saved towards something that you actually care about.

As for me, I’m off to give my toilets a “good enough” scrub. I’ll let you know if there’s any toilet fall-out next week from giving it my “good” instead of my “best.”

Feel free to check in with your own reports about your efforts.  I would love to hear about it.