I bet you can throw quite the shindig for the people you love in your life.

You can celebrate who they are—no problem.

If asked, you can point out five of their best features pretty easily.

In essence, your heart is stocked with kindness for your loved ones.

Well…it’s time you raided your own pantry.

Here’s one more way to get a helping of gratitude in your life.

And it’s not about turning your appreciation outward.

This is about looking into a mirror for a moment and appreciating who you see there.

It’s time to fill up your plates.  Get ready.

Grab a spoon

What did you do well this week?

And don’t just look at outcomes, either.  (Those are nice, but they’re not the only things that matter.)

Process matters, too.

So, scratch that.  Let’s try again.

What did you try?

Where did you take risks?

And where did you take good care of yourself?

Consider:

Did you slow down and give yourself a little extra time?

In the middle of getting angry at yourself, did you stop and consider your own side of the story?

Did you interrupt a second-guessing moment to give yourself a bit of credit or courage?

Maybe you tried sticking up for yourself—to someone else, or against your own mind.

Did you get that thing done that you’ve been putting off?

No?  That’s ok.

Give yourself some points if you were compassionate instead of self-blaming for not getting it done.

And maybe you shredded yourself for not getting it all done.  Give yourself a minute now to review that with compassion, too.

It’ll get done.

Keep giving yourself credit.

Be lavish.

Fill your plate to the brim.

Thin rations

Some of us grew up in families where praise was carefully rationed, doled out only to specific standards, or completely absent.

Maybe we were taught lessons that, at first glance, look quite positive.

Like this one:

Be humble.

Not bad, right?

But then it looks like this:

Don’t be arrogant.

And then this:

Don’t get too big for your britches.

And then:

Don’t think you’re better than us.

These family environments can make us emotionally anorexic.

I don’t mean anorexic in the usual way—it’s not about restricting food.  Instead, it’s about restricting love—love of one’s own self.

Because pride, at core, is about loving oneself.

And poor pride!!  It gets a bad rap.  Like selfishness.  It’s not a bad thing.

Healthy self-interest

Self-interest is a healthy thing.

But many of us got some mixed messages on this.

Some families can have such harsh censure that we deny ourselves a healthy, reasonable amount of praise and appreciation.

Instead, we look wide-eyed at other people’s full plates, refusing spoons full of praise and love.

We struggle to accept compliments.

We worry that giving ourselves credit means we’re full of ourselves, that we’re vain and proud.

Or we think that if we “rest on our laurels” we won’t get enough done.  That it won’t be perfect.  That it won’t be enough.

We go hungry.

It’s a tough way to live.

Grab yourself a plate

You won’t ruin your appetite.

And you won’t make yourself sick.

Go ahead, help yourself.

Give yourself some praise.