The holidays are coming up, so this is just as good a time as any to talk about anxiety.

Whether you struggle with anxiety often in your everyday life…

…or if you’re simply finding yourself anxious at the prospect of the holiday season,

here are some simple tips for understanding and taming your anxiety.

Four tips for managing your anxiety

So, what can we do when we feel like a burlap sack full of bees?

Luckily, we can intervene with our anxiety at many different points—through our thoughts, our bodies, and our behaviors.

But first things first.  In order to intervene, we must have a sense of what’s going on.  We need to tune in to our bodies and listen to what is happening there.  So first, we…

1.)  Name it.

Acknowledge what you are feeling.

Is it anxiety?  Or is it excitement?

These two feelings have similar physical signatures in the body.  What’s the difference between the two?

Context and interpretation—the story you tell yourself about what you are feeling and why, and what is happening in your life that provides the backdrop to the story.

So, first things first.  Name what you are feeling.

2.)  Don’t try to analyze it.

Once you’ve named the feeling, stop there.

One tactic that people commonly try to do when feeling distressed is to analyze the feeling.  To trace it back to its source.

This comes from a desire to control your feelings, and to prevent yourself from feeling badly in the future.

It’s an understandable impulse, but sometimes it just makes things worse.

It can easily lead you to ruminate about times you’ve felt badly before,

and now here you are feeling badly again,

and how you’re probably gonna feel badly in the future,

and ohmygod.will.this.never.end?!?!?!?

Yikes! No.  That’s no good.

Promise yourself you’ll reflect on it later, when you’re feeling better.

If reasoning through things helps you feel more organized, go ahead and write a paragraph about what you’re feeling and why, and then move to step #3.  Don’t get stuck in analysis—that keeps you focused on your anxiety!

3.)  Self-soothe.

Okay.  So you’re anxious.  You’ve acknowledged it.

Maybe you have some sense of why it’s here, or maybe not.  And now?

Now your job is to do what you can to make yourself feel better.

Everyone is different, so you have to find what works for you.  You may have to try a couple of different things.

I find that it helps for me to get out of my head and my thoughts and get into my body.

This step can be hard because you’re already feeling miserable and probably don’t much feel like rallying.

Try to do it anyway.

You can even think to yourself,

“Well, so I’m feeling miserable and anxious.  I might as well feel that way while standing outside and watching the sun set.  It’s a better view than staring at the bedroom wall.”

You have your choice of options in how to intervene and soothe yourself when feeling anxious.

Behaviors:  Whether it’s taking a quick walk, doing some progressive muscle relaxation, meditation, guided imagery, or mindful breathing, or picking another task to immerse myself in, I starve the anxiety by refusing to give it my full attention.

I focus instead on making myself feel better by focusing on my body, or giving my mind something to chew on other than itself.

Yoga.  Baking.  Gardening.  Video games.  Puzzles.  Calling a friend.  Painting.  Running an errand.  Finding cute cat videos on YouTube.  Whatever.

Just get out of your head for a while.

Thoughts:  I challenge the anxious or worried thoughts that come into my brain instead of accepting what they say wholesale.

I remind myself,

“This too shall pass.  All feelings end at some point.”

If my mind starts going off into what-if land, I turn the game on its head and ask myself,

“What if everything is actually okay?”

I let myself consider that possibility for one full minute.

I notice how tense and stressed I am when living under the burden of the what-ifs and the worst case scenarios.

I realize that I can choose my thoughts.

(Yes, you can choose your thoughts.)

Whatever you pick to soothe yourself, try to avoid options that are loaded or self-destructive.  These just compound the problem in the long haul.

4.)  Medication.

Some people have nervous systems that burn brighter than others.

They’re more anxious by nature.

Often, they grew up in anxious families and were raised by anxious parents.

They are simply more tightly wound and have a baseline for anxiety that is quite elevated compared to others.

In these cases, medication can be a helpful supplement to your list of anxiety management tactics.  You can partner with your primary care physician or a psychiatrist to explore your options.

However, just like if you began a weight loss program, you wouldn’t just drink the chocolate-y breakfast weight-loss shakes and then call it a day.

You’d need to have a sensible diet and exercise program, consult with a dietician or nutritionist, and maybe even participate in a support group.

The same is true for managing your anxiety—the best plan is one that has several components and skills that are designed to offer relief at different levels.

If you only rely on medication to soothe your anxiety, you aren’t using all the tools in your arsenal.

Your progress will be slower and focused only on short-term relief, which shortchanges you in the long run.  Also be aware that anti-anxiety medication can be habit-forming.

Final thoughts

An anxious mind is like an errant dog.

It goes where you don’t want it to, digging holes and getting into the trash, eating things it’s not supposed to and then throwing up on your favorite carpet.

With practice and with training, you can tame that dog.

You can lead it where it is supposed to go.

But the best practice happens during periods when you are calm.

So if you’re reading this because you’re anxious and need support, grab some ideas and give them a try…

…just remember to come back when you’re feeling well, and to practice these skills when you’re calm, too.

That will help you in the long run, because it will train your brain and body to handle anxiety better when it does show up.