Everyday wellness

Magazines may have you thinking that “practicing wellness” means living in a spa, convalescing in a terry cloth robe with fresh slices of cucumber adorning your eyes.  An alternative interpretation I’ve seen involves serenely sitting in stylish-yet-comfortable yoga clothes, a toasty cup of tea in one hand while the other artfully holds rudra mudra.

These glimpses represent a lifestyle most of us cannot manage in perpetuity.  We cannot live in the spa or yoga studio, much as we might like to do so.  We have jobs, pets, bills, and Tuesday afternoon errands that need attention.  And so, we find ourselves gazing dreamily at a patch of floor in a massage therapist’s practice far too rarely.

And, when we do make it in to the yoga studio for a bit of self-care, we may find the bliss-benefits eroding as we battle traffic on our way home.

I know these glossy magazine ads are trying to sell something.  I know they’re trying to offer a solution to a problem.  But, I worry sometimes that they also have the unintended side-effect of providing an impossible ideal, or the unhappy notion that calm and quiet can only be found inside one of these places or products.

So, today I want to talk a bit about finding peace in a place that goes with you everywhere.  We don’t need to go anyplace special or do or be anything extraordinary in order to find a little bit of peace in our own hearts.

Before I dive more deeply into the topic, I’d like to quickly point out that there’s no harm in enjoying the pleasures of the spa, salon, gym, or yoga studio.  Investing time or money in therapies for our bodies and minds is an important part of self-care.  Rather, I want to highlight that there are other avenues to a peaceful state of mind that do not cost anything and can be practiced at a moment’s notice.  The best form of self-care, I think, is a generous blending of these different kinds of care.

So, if you’re feeling weary or worried about the holiday season, neck deep in to-do lists, family conflict, or the heaviness of grief, I want to offer you some gentle and hopeful reminders about how to anchor yourself amidst the tremors of a busy season.  What follows are some tips and resources on cultivating “everyday” wellness in your life.

I have something in mind that offers a handy how-to guide to help with this.

It’s a book by Dr. Sameet Kumar called The Mindful Path through Worry and Rumination:  Letting go of Anxious and Depressive Thoughts.  It talks about finding the haven of a peaceful mind in the midst of hardship or the day to day stresses that characterize ordinary life.

I love this book for a few reasons.  It’s short, it’s written in a conversational tone, and it offers simple tips and a no-nonsense rationale on how and why to establish a meditation practice.

Unsurprisingly, this book is based on Buddhist principles of mindfulness and radical acceptance.  It expands upon one of the noble truths of Buddhism:  namely, that trouble finds us no matter our circumstances.  Relief comes from exercising choice about how to respond to these hardships in a way that minimizes personal suffering and engenders a glad heart.

This book is an especially good read if you have an overactive mind that tends to jump to stressful conclusions or tackle the same, troubled topics ad nauseam, no matter how hard you may try to stop it.

In this book, you will find ideas about how to have sneaky moments of peace—no bathrobe, yoga or incense required.  For example, I now enjoy red traffic lights as mini “breathing breaks” rather than frustrating impediments.

This is what I love best about the book:  these ounces of self-care fit inside a busy schedule.  The exercises presented in the book detail way you can send yourself kindnesses all the time—a few grounding breaths, a compassionate heart, a moment spent with the sunset through the windshield on your way home from work.   You can sneak these gentle moments all throughout your day.  It’s like stealth-care instead of self-care.  I like it!

Perhaps best of all, it’s not based on big promises, a sizeable bank account, or a drastic lifestyle overhaul.  It shows that gentle change is possible.  You can improve your life, a moment at a time, simply by paying attention and choosing gestures and practices that are affirming and kind.

If meditation or Buddhist philosophy is not your cup of tea, that’s okay, too.  I know it isn’t for everyone.  If that’s the case, you can always try old-fashioned “mom-brand” wellness.  These practical habits will help you take good care of yourself in the new year.

Here are a few examples to help you get started:

1.)     Regular, nourishing meals that you consume while seated, without a screen in front of you.

2.)    Restful sleep.

3.)    Not overscheduling yourself.

4.)    Being understanding, even and especially when mistakes are made.

5.)    Moment to moment check-ins, as in: “How am I feeling right now?”  “Why am I clenching my jaw?”

6.)    Humor via webcomics, movies, or a good joke with a friend.

7.)    Idle, unscheduled time for you to do with as you please.

Finding calm or contentment may not feel practical or doable for some amidst the rigors of a hectic or troubled life.  But, I believe that peaceful moments are possible if you know where to look… and how to breathe.

Do you have a special way of staying calm and grounded during a stressful week?