Four More Telltale Signs You Need an ESC
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An emotional spring cleaning can be like a deep cleanse for the psyche. By taking inventory of what has accumulated over the past few seasons, we invite ourselves to more conscious, healthful living. Here are four more signs that might suggest you could benefit from reclaiming a mental closet or two.
1.) Your peanut gallery. Each of us has a running inner monologue in our heads that is populated by voices of critics and supporters from our past and current life. These folks tend to offer a running commentary on our comings and goings throughout the day. Some of these comments may be gentle or neutral, others critical or sharp.
Have you listened to your thoughts lately? What does your peanut gallery sound like most of the time? Tune in. If you’re not sure about the quality of the content, imagine if you were to direct this feedback at a close friend. Would you feel proud to talk to them that way? If not, why is it ok for you to hear it day in and day out? To be fair, we started collecting our sound bites for this monologue early in life, and it can be tough to shake out on our own. But, you can make some big headway simply by making yourself aware of what thoughts you are consuming. If it sounds toxic, it probably is toxic.
2.) All work and no play. If you can’t remember the last time you did something just for fun, that’s a big red flag. While it is okay to be quite productive or even driven in your work, you can blunt yourself if you push yourself too hard.
For some, having strong drive is simply a way of being and is not problematic—if your work is your passion, your primary problem is probably in balancing multiple priorities. However, if you’re noticing a departure from your normal routine, like withdrawing, avoiding or compensating for something through work, that’s a sign that something’s gone awry. Take it as an opportunity to look inward and learn something.
3.) An abandoned self. This ties in to my previous point but has a broader scope beyond your leisure time. Do you take time off of work when you are ill? Do you plan breaks in your workday and vacations during the year? Overall, do you take good care of your body? If you don’t have a sense of healthy self-interest, you’re probably leaving yourself out in the cold quite a bit. Everyone needs a good, strong advocate—where’s yours?
Some of us are raised to see self-care practices as indulgent and have never really felt comfortable with them. Others may have started off practicing good self-care but had these tasks crowded out by perpetual to-do lists and an ever-broadening range of roles. Without this crucial self-nourishment, you’re likely to end up “stalled out.” An emotional spring cleaning could help prevent this from happening.
4.) System self-destruct. Drinking to numb out, eating to soothe strong feelings, inflicting bodily harm to feel control… compulsive or self-destructive behaviors that calm in the short-term can have big costs in the long run. Everybody has tactics that they resort to when stressed, and some of them may be ones you don’t want to broadcast to others.
Don’t feel ashamed! These coping methods are survival strategies that helped get you to present day. But, it may be time to consider if you want to continue to stock these in your coping arsenal.
With an emotional spring cleaning, you can take a look at these methods and consider the costs and benefits of continuing with your current strategies. It can be painful, but taking an honest account here could save you loads of trouble in the long run. Remember, there’s no obligation to turn these methods in before you are ready. Feel free to be curious—you’re just browsing possibilities for now.
If you’ve identified yourself among the items listed here, you’re in good company! Everyone has untapped resources that they can use to bloom a little brighter. And if none of this feels familiar, not to worry—you can still benefit from the practice of an emotional spring cleaning. Next time, we will talk about effective methods for sifting through this stuff and maybe doing a little repair work along the way.
