A “workaholic” is someone who works compulsively at the expense of other pursuits.

I work a lot with people-pleasers—folks who are anxious to please others.

People-pleasers frequently struggle with workaholism because it is a way to get approval from others.

It feeds into their belief that they can earn love.

So, what does workaholism look like in practice, exactly?

Here are a few signs:

1.)    Your work takes priority over just about everything else in your life.  People close to you complain about how much time you spend working.  You may even use work, knowingly or not, as an escape or a buffer against conflict in a relationship, or unhappiness with your life.

2.)    You’re at a loss about what to do with free time.  You don’t have hobbies.  Instead, you have ideas of things you might do if you had free time one day.  When you have idle time, you tend to fill it with work, or “hobbies” that somehow turn into work.

3.)    You are plugged into work at all times.   You can get to your work at a moment’s notice via phone or computer.  You have a hard time seeing the difference between work time and free time.  Even when you aren’t at work, your mind still is.

4.)    Your day goes on longer than most other people’s.  You arrive early at the office and work late into the evening.  You work weekends, holidays, nights, and just because.

5.)    If you aren’t working, you feel bored, guilty, and/or unproductive.  For many, work provides a sense of accomplishment and a way to get the bills paid.  For you, it provides a sense of purpose, worthiness, and meaning and without it, you may feel depressed and anxious.

6.)    You struggle to delegate tasks to others.  You often find yourself thinking, “If I handle it, I know it will get done right.”

7.)    You eat lunch (and dinner and breakfast) at your desk.  You may even skip bathroom breaks during the day to fit more work in.

8.)    You are often late because of work.  You have a hard time setting limits and stopping when you are “supposed to.”  In fact, you may become irritable when someone asks you to stop doing work to do something else.

9.)    You struggle with perfectionism.  Every task feels high stakes.  You may compulsively check and review your work.

10.) You labor under the myth that you’ll rest when you’re done—but you’re never done.

The bottom line

If any of this sounds familiar, take 30 seconds to review your situation.

Are you hungry right now?

Do you need a bathroom break?

When was your last vacation?

How much longer can you keep this up?  Is it time to change yet?