We’ve arrived at the third and final part of the homemade happy series.

If you’ve been following along, you know we’ve spent the last few weeks laying an important foundation.

We started with picking a recipe, a general idea of what we want more of in our life.

We identified a couple of principles and key priorities that matter to us.

Last week, we took stock of our ingredients.

We considered the activities, practices, thoughts and people that would affirm these values and priorities.

Today, we talk about how to put it all together, plus some tips for troubleshooting if things are coming out a little half baked.

Setting goals

Remember those ingredients you came up with last week?

Now we need to figure out how to put those together.

We can’t just toss ‘em in a blender and hope it all comes out okay.

(Believe me, I’ve tried that.)

We need to get specific.

So, not Go to the gym more

but rather Go to the gym twice a week

or Practice yoga Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays.

Get concrete.

Make your goals measurable and meet-able.

Make them bite-sized.

Make space in your routine for these new habits.

Realize that you will probably have to trade some things in.

Trading in Netflix for meditation.

Trading in fast food for home-cooked meals.

Trading overtime at the office for time at home with family.

Tracking your progress

After a week or two, schedule time to reflect on how this recipe is going.

Is it half-baked?  Overdone?

Here are a couple of things to ask yourself:

Are you making time for the things you said you would?

If so, how’s that working for you?  Are you happy with the outcome?

If you aren’t living by your stated priorities, why not?  What’s getting in the way?

Often we find that we allied with one stated set of priorities in our mind, but living by another, opposing set of priorities.  Let’s talk some about a few issues you might need to troubleshoot.

Troubleshooting

A couple of snags and pitfalls you may encounter along the way…

1.)  What if I have conflicting priorities?

You know, the set you should live by and the set you do live by.

All of us struggle with this some.

Often we have things we feel we should be doing, but aren’t.

But shoulds can absolutely poison motivation.

Ideally, you want your motivation to come from a place of possibility and hope and deliberation, not in reaction to a sense of guilt or shame or shortcoming.

Try not to have your motivation tied to these negative feelings.  That rarely works out well in the long term.

Stay in touch with your why.  Why do these things matter?  Why is change important?  Be in touch with what makes it relevant.  If you feel you should be doing stuff just because—well, that’s not really very compelling, now is it?

Trace it back or forward in time… If I do these things now, this is what happens in one year, five years, ten years.  Are you satisfied with what you see?

Are your values and priorities actually in conflict with each other, irreconcilable, or do they simply need to take turns?

Tip:  In this case, it helps to write down the priorities you aspire to, and then to write down the priorities you’re currently living by.   Write down your whys for making changes.

2.)  What if I don’t have time?

This is a common complaint, but it is an easy one to address.

If the priorities and values you identified are truly priorities, you’ll make time for them.

That’s nature of priorities.  They’re the things at the top of the list. 

So, you need to go back and look at your list.  Does it need some editing?

Or, maybe you’re in a state of compromise, having to do something  in the right now that is out of alignment with your long-term goals.

Powering through, holding your breath—maybe you’re in a situation that demands you put your attention elsewhere.

Maybe you do what you have to do in the short term.

But ask yourself:  is this truly a situation I need to “power through”—and is there any way I can soften this at all?

Even if the answer’s no, have an exit plan in mind.

Otherwise, your short-term strategy may become a long-term way of life.

And living out of alignment with your values and priorities is a guaranteed path to burn out.

3.)  What if I have trouble getting started?

Instead of working from the recipe you want to have, write down the recipe you’re currently working from.

Reckon with where your time is going.  Are you happy with the hours you’re spending each week on Candy Crush and Netflix?

Are you pleased with how much time you’re spending on Facebook?

How’s your current recipe looking?

Looking at where our time is going right now can help us correct our course.

Sustaining progress often comes from the accountability you have inside of you, but external sources can help, too.

You might consider asking someone to be your accountability partner, or consider trying therapy to help support these changes and explore the roadblocks that come up.

Wrapping up

The homemade happy recipe isn’t complicated.  It’s just three steps:

1.)  Identify your key principles and values.

2.)  Choose activities, habits, thoughts that support those values.

3.)  Set your goals and walk the walk.  Correct course as needed.

Good luck with your recipe!

———————————————————–

Last year:  Quit letting your life boss you around

Two years ago:  Denial and its uses

Three years ago:  Your shoes and your shrink: the importance of fit